'twixt Scylla & Charybdis

Pity the poor Republicans!

On the one hand, they are ideologically opposed to any 'public funding' of abortion:

"If you think of it in human terms, there is a financial incentive that would be put in place, paid for by tax dollars, that would encourage…single parents, living below the poverty level, to have the opportunity for a free abortion. If you take that scenario and apply it to many of the great minds we have today, who would we have been deprived of? Our President grew up in those similar circumstances. If that financial incentive was in place, is it possible that his mother might have taken advantage of it? Clarence Thomas, Supreme Court Justice, if those circumstances were in place, is it possible that we’d have been denied his great mind?"
[Rep. Todd Tiahrt (R-KS), as reported by Think Progress]

[Hmmm... Barack Obama & Clarence Thomas - I wonder how he settled on those two examples???]

On the other hand, they're really afraid of the White Race losing its dominant position in America:

MADDOW: Why do you think is that of the 110 Supreme Court justices we've had in this country, 108 of them have been white?

BUCHANAN: Well, I think white men were 100 percent of the people that wrote the Constitution, 100 percent of the people that signed the Declaration of Independence, 100 percent of people who died at Gettysburg and Vicksburg. Probably close to 100 percent of the people who died at Normandy.

This has been a country built basically by white folks in this country who are 90 percent of the entire nation-in 1960, when I was growing up, Rachel-and the other 10 percent were African-American who had been discriminated against. That's why.
[The Rachel Maddow Show, Thurs, 17 Jul 2009]

... Um... Pat... can you think of any reasons African-Americans might not have participated in the country's founding?... something about "three fifths of all other Persons" comes to mind - or did you miss that day in 8th-grade Civics?
... and - for what it's worth - blacks in uniform DID die at Gettysburg & Vicksburg... and Normandy!
[My bet is Uncle Pat isn't all that crazy about the 15th, 19th or 24th Amendments!... and the Golden Age - 1960 - to which Uncle Pat refers was before the Voting Rights Acts of 1965 prohibited so-called "literacy tests" and the 24th Amendment prohibited poll taxes!]
(... finally: does Uncle Pat really believe that W got into Yale and Harvard Biz School based on his SAT and GMAT scores? What promising, qualified white students were denied the Ivy League for W's "legacy" admissions???)

Then we have Brian Kilmeade on Fox and Friends explaining why a Scandinavian medical study is irrelevant to the U.S.:

KILMEADE: We keep marrying other species and other ethnics--
...
The problem is the Swedes have pure genes. They marry other Swedes, that's the rule. Finns marry other Finns; they have a pure society. In America we marry everybody. We will marry Italians and Irish.

Other species??? Ah, yes - the mongrel race we are becoming as a result of miscegenation!

You'd think these folks would be simply delighted to federally fund abortions to help control the super-libidinous fecundity of the colored races! - ESPECIALLY abortions for poor colored folks!!!

What's a good Republican to do???