Monday, December 31, 2018

Happy New Year!

... with family and friends.

Melissa & I are spending the night in.
We have house-guests - friends from Michigan, with two young kids - a 4-yr-old and a 1-yr-old.
All is good.

In the best of all possible worlds, 2019 will work out well for all of us.

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Luminaria

A Christmas tradition in Albuquerque is luminaria.
These are paper bags with candles in 'em, lining the sidewalk on Christmas eve.

This is our sixth (6th) Christmas in our house.

First Xmss we didn't know: our neighborhood is one on the "luminaria tour" - cars circling through the neighborhood to see the display.

We participated our second year, and the third.
Fourth year we spent Xmas at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, providing moral support to bro-in-law undergoing cancer surgery.
We did not do luminaria.

Last year, yes.

This year I'd called a contractor who advertised with signs in local park.
"Set up, take down, $12/dozen."
I called to schedule.

Xmas eve, 4:30 p.m., no sign of the guy.

Fortunately we had several boxes of luminarias from previous year, in the garage, and Melissa had bought candles.
It really isn't that hard to set up luminarias.
Lighting them, however, is a chore.

And then the luminaria elves arrived.
A young couple whom we'd never seen before appeared in front of our house to help light luminarias!
We didn't discourage them, but did assist.

The neighborhood looked great - house after house of luminarias ... and the park... it's a fairly stunning sight!

Thank you, luminaria elves!

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Negotiating The Wall... with apologies to The Beatles

You never give me your money,
You only give me your funny paper,
And in the middle of negotiations, you break down.

I never give you my number,
I only give you my situation,
And in the middle of investigation, I break down.

Monday, December 24, 2018

Try harder

THE PRESIDENT: I am proud to shut down the government for border security, Chuck, because the people of this country don’t want criminals and people that have lots of problems and drugs pouring into our country. So I will take the mantle. I will be the one to shut it down. I’m not going to blame you for it.

He tweeted Monday: “I am in the Oval Office & just gave out a 115 mile long contract for another large section of the Wall in Texas. We are already building and renovating many miles of Wall, some complete. Democrats must end Shutdown and finish funding. Billions of Dollars, & lives, will be saved!”

Dear Mr. President: You're proud to shut down the government, you will take the mantle for the shutdown... but it's now the Democrats' fault???

... and, oh, I almost forgot - at the moment, Congress - both House and Senate - is controlled by Republicans!... That would be YOUR party, yes?

"I do try, and I always want to tell the truth."

President Trump: I do try, and I always want to tell the truth. When I can, I tell the truth.

Yoda: No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try.

Friday, December 21, 2018

I'm tired of winning

“We're going to win so much. You're going to get tired of winning. you’re going to say, ‘Please Mr. President, I have a headache. Please, don't win so much. This is getting terrible.’ And I'm going to say, ‘No, we have to make America great again.’ You're gonna say, ‘Please.’ I said, ‘Nope, nope. We're gonna keep winning.’”
Donald Trump, 2016
Please, President Trump. You were right, I’m tired of winning.

I’m tired of winning against ISIS by withdrawing our troops from Syria, leaving 20,000 active ISIS fighters on the ground, abandoning our staunch Kurdish allies, and leaving Syria to Iran and Russia.

I’m tired of winning against North Korea by abandoning joint military exercises with our South Korean allies, declaring that North Korea is no longer a nuclear threat, proclaiming that you, Mr. President, and Kim Jong Un “fell in love,” and North Korea then announcing that it will not denuclearize until the United States eliminates its nuclear threat.

I’m tired of winning good, easy to win trade wars with both friends and foes by spending my tax dollars to bail out farmers to the tune of $12Bn for losses incurred due to retaliatory tariffs imposed by China, by driving Harley-Davidson to relocate manufacturing sites overseas to avoid retaliatory EU tariffs, by compelling GM to shutter plants in response to tariff-induced increased costs of raw materials.

I’m tired of winning trade wars by increasing our trade deficit by $10Bn since you took office.

I’m tired of winning against Saudi Arabia by allowing them to murder a journalist with impunity.

I’m tired of winning against the Saudis again by praising them for low oil prices, and then to have them, with OPEC, decide to reduce the global oil supply by cutting production.

I’m tired of winning against our own intelligence and military establishments by undercutting them at every turn, denying their findings and rejecting their advice.

I’m tired of winning and Making America Great Again by consistently, repeatedly embracing our enemies and disrespecting our allies.

I’m tired of winning against desperate refugees by incarcerating and killing children.

I’m tired of winning against our environment by denying the reality of human-caused climate change, by giving away our public lands to extractive industries, and by gutting our clean air and clean water laws.

I’m tired of winning against our top-ranked schools and universities by funding abstinence-only sex education, by discouraging foreign students from applying to our universities, and by supporting rapacious for-profit colleges at the expense of our earnest students.

I’m tired of winning against We the People by restricting our voting rights, and ignoring clear cases of REPUPLICAN voter fraud.

Yes, Mr. President. I am, as you predicted, tired of winning.

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Bad jokes

Q: How can you tell when Trump is lying?
A: He's awake.

Q: How can you tell when Trump is asleep?
A: He's lying.


My suggestion for U.S. Attorneys is to indict Trump Organization under RICO.
RICO: Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act.

Just saying.

Friday, December 14, 2018

"Save the Planet!"

Nope... Earth will get along.

The geologic record includes many past mass extinctions.
The planet is still here.

Combatting human-caused global warming is not about the planet, it's about US.
(Well... and the polar bears.)

Some huge percentage of all species that have ever existed are no longer with us.
Think T-Rex.

Combatting human-caused warming is not to "save the planet" - it's to save US!
The next mass extinction in the newly named "Anthropocene" is very likely to include H. sapiens.

The universe won't notice.

Monday, December 10, 2018

My letter of application

Dear President Trump:

I am a registered Democrat.
I did not vote for you in 2016.
I live in New Mexico’s 1st Congressional District, which recently elected Democrat Deb Haaland to the House of Representatives. I voted for her.

I served in the U.S. Army from 1975-1978, including 14 months with the 2nd Infantry Division in South Korea on the DMZ. I received an honorable discharge in 1981.

I have an undergraduate degree from Harvard, and graduate degrees from the University of Texas at El Paso and Stanford.

I am a retired statistician, having worked for 20+ years for a Fortune 100 technology company.
In that capacity I taught classes on “effective meetings.”
I now receive Social Security benefits.

I have no experience in Government or management.

I believe my identification with veterans, retirees, and the incoming Democratic Congress gives me insight into several of your needed constituencies.
My personal experience serving on Korea’s DMZ gives me insight into your ongoing negotiations with North Korea.

I am a recognized authority on Gilbert and Sullivan operettas, which provides me with insight into the foibles of government.

I believe my lack of any relevant qualifications, my vast life-experience, and my willingness to serve, all represent just the qualities you seek in a Chief of Staff.
Recall, I have taught a class on “Effective Meetings” with a Fortune 100 company.

Please consider me for this position.
As a retiree, I could use the money, and I promise to serve as your Chief of Staff to the best of my ability.

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Happy Thanksgiving!

I started this tradition several years ago, when the blog was Al Qaeda in Albuquerque.

Here it goes again:

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.
It's secular - religious overtones are secondary.
It's American - the rest of world goes on happily without us.

Most of all, for me the basic premise - giving thanks - is a good thing.
Yes, I am thankful for my family, for my undeserved good-fortune in life, for friends.

Food, friends, family: what could be better?

And I continue to be thankful!

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Weak Trump: alliterative

Just for fun:
Adjectives: Pudgy, perverse, paltry, pandering, pusillanimous, paranoid, peevish, pitiful, pithless, pernicious, predatory, petty, puny pugnacious, pretentious, pompous.

Nouns: prick, pest.

Our very weak, slack-jawed, overweight President

Free advice for pundits, both Democrats and Trump-questioning Republicans (free, and worth every penny!)
Call Trump weak. Frequently and often. You might spice it up with other weak-related adjectives: slack-jawed, paunchy, thin-skinned, pathetic, bullying, pasty, thin-haired, out-of-shape, McDonald's-eating, craven, kowtowing, genuflecting, bowing, obsequious, toadying, sycophantic, brown-nosing...
Hey, you guys are the wordsmiths - use your imagination!

The point twofold:
First, simply get under Trump's skin by TELLING THE TRUTH about him.

Second, make him RESPOND to your insults. This has the positive benefit of keeping him from doing anything really seriously horrible.
He really doesn't like being called "weak."
Yes, you may suffer his Twitter attacks, but again - better this than he takes any serious policy action!

Monday, July 16, 2018

Trump/Putin... an imagined discourse

What went on in Trump/Putin tete-a-tete? Who knows. Here is my imagined discourse:
Putin: You asked us to hack into your opponent’s computers. We did so. If we were to admit this fact you would be in a world of hurt.

Maybe you should make nice with us… hmm?

How many of your campaign staff were on our payroll? Do you know?

Just asking. Maybe none… but can you be sure?
Again, maybe you ought to make nice with us… hmmm?

Trump: [silence]
This says nothing about the hundreds of millions of dollars Russia has loaned to Trump enterprises, or Eric Trump meeting with Russian surrogates to get dirt on Hillary. Nope, Putin has nothing on Trump in the way of blackmail. Trump is an honest fellow, only looking to Make America Great. We should be grateful to him

Tuesday, June 12, 2018