Monday, December 10, 2018
My letter of application
Dear President Trump: I am a registered Democrat. I did not vote for you in 2016. I live in New Mexico’s 1st Congressional District, which recently elected Democrat Deb Haaland to the House of Representatives. I voted for her. I served in the U.S. Army from 1975-1978, including 14 months with the 2nd Infantry Division in South Korea on the DMZ. I received an honorable discharge in 1981. I have an undergraduate degree from Harvard, and graduate degrees from the University of Texas at El Paso and Stanford. I am a retired statistician, having worked for 20+ years for a Fortune 100 technology company. In that capacity I taught classes on “effective meetings.” I now receive Social Security benefits. I have no experience in Government or management. I believe my identification with veterans, retirees, and the incoming Democratic Congress gives me insight into several of your needed constituencies. My personal experience serving on Korea’s DMZ gives me insight into your ongoing negotiations with North Korea. I am a recognized authority on Gilbert and Sullivan operettas, which provides me with insight into the foibles of government. I believe my lack of any relevant qualifications, my vast life-experience, and my willingness to serve, all represent just the qualities you seek in a Chief of Staff. Recall, I have taught a class on “Effective Meetings” with a Fortune 100 company. Please consider me for this position. As a retiree, I could use the money, and I promise to serve as your Chief of Staff to the best of my ability.