Hookers Downgrade US Credit RatingNote: "Borowitz Report" items are available "this day only" - he doesn't link to specific posts.
Shortchanging by Secret Service Draws Strong Rebuke
Oh! a private buffoon is a light-hearted loon, If you listen to popular rumour; From the morn to the night he's so joyous and bright, And he bubbles with wit and good humour! He's so quaint and so terse, both in prose and in verse; Yet though people forgive his transgression, There are one or two rules that all family fools Must observe, if they love their profession. [Yeomen of the Guard, Gilbert & Sullivan]