Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A modest proposal

Commonwealth of Virginia
Be it enacted by the General Assembly of Virginia:
1. That any man desiring a prescription for Viagra, Cialis, any of their generic equivalents, or any other drug intended to address Erectile Dysfunction

a. be required to undergo a penile swab, rectal swab, and colonoscopy prior to receiving said prescription to ensure that he does not have a sexually transmissible disease (STD), the likelihood of transmission being increased by use of said prescription.

b. Furthermore, any such prescription shall not be given for a period longer than one month, and is not to be renewed unless and until the patient re-submits to another penile swab, rectal swab, and colonoscopy again to ensure that he has not contracted a sexually transmissible disease.

2. Should the diagnostic measures referenced above (penile swab, rectal swab, colonoscopy) reveal the presence of any STD(-s),

a. said prescription shall not be written;

b. said patient shall be escorted immediately by law enforcement officers to a secure, in-patient treatment facility, to be held there, at his own expense, until the diagnosed STD has been cured.

3. To ensure compliance with these requirements, the Commonwealth of Virginia forbids the shipment of any and all Erectile Dysfunction medications, from mail-order, Internet, or any other outside suppliers, into the Commonwealth.
This at least has the benefit of being sort of medically justified, as a precaution in the interest of Public Health.

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