Not quite sure the point of this, but I'll plow ahead

I recently received an email from one of my more conservative correspondents, who was forwarding something that'd been forwarded to him.
The heading included the comment,
"This guy had the guts to put this on the internet. GOD BLESS HIM."

For whatever reason, I decided to reply. Below is email (italics) and my replies (bold italics):

MY NAME IS WALT TURSKE FROM CLEVELAND , OHIO.

- [his picture goes here: about my age, greying beard, baseball cap] -

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN

I Am the Liberal-Progressive's Worst Nightmare
(you've got a beard, you wear a baseball cap... you're NOT MY worst nightmare!)

I am an American.
(me too - born in Tulsa, OK)

I am a Master Mason and believe in God.
(well, i'm not a Mason - I'm not much of a 'joiner'. I don't believe in God, but I sing in a Lutheran choir every Sunday)

I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles, and believe in American products.
(I don't ride a motorcycle - does that make me a bad person? My truck is a Dodge... previous cars include another Dodge truck, a Ford minivan, and a Buick - that last one I bought 'cuz I wanted to do my part for GM back in 1988!)

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some liberal governmental functionary, Democratic or Republican!
(well, yeah - but I also believe that the military, police, firemen, roads, bridges, and a few laws - like you have to drive on the right-hand-side & stop at stoplights - are good ideas... and paying folks to serve in the military, be police & firemen, build roads & bridges, and enforce laws - well, the money has to come from somewhere. That's what taxes are all about - providing public safety, public health, public transportation... in general I'm a big fan of the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution: "We the people of the United States in order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." - see all that stuff about a more perfect Union, Justice, domestic Tranquility, common defence, the general Welfare, and the Blessings of Liberty? That's what our taxes are supposed to be paying for! - Did you think it was all FREE???)

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
(good for you!)

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer; it makes you a smart American.
(I don't own a gun, but I've no objection to you owning one. Some of my best friends own guns.)

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
(I'm with you here, too. BUT: I don't thing being a minority ought to automatically exclude anyone from an education, or a job, or a seat at a lunch-counter JUST BECAUSE he or she is a minority! - we're all Americans, and that DOES entitle ALL OF US to certain basic rights!)

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you should do it in English.
(Well, yeah - I appreciate that... but if the person behind me in line speaks Spanish, why not sell him a Big Mac in Spanish? - it doesn't hurt me in the least little bit. Do you speak any language other than English? If you traveled to Europe, would you expect everyone to speak to you in English???)

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
(Yep - I'm with you here, too. How 'bout folks who don't believe in God? - are you okay with them, too? - and, oh yeah - I'd just as soon you not come knocking on my door trying to convert me!)

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson, who makes the awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
(Well, we don't have any heroes in common. Yeah, Babe Ruth was a great baseball player, and John Wayne & Roy Rogers made some great Westerns... but that's not quite in a 'hero' category for me... not a problem: you can keep 'em, I don't mind.)

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
(I don't hate the rich - but I'd just as soon they didn't keep getting richer at my expense! - fair is fair.
If you got rich - or plan to get richer - by cheating me, then I have a problem. - well, could be my problem for being dumb enough to let you fleece me, but sometimes I'm really not given much of a choice. You might want to rethink the bit about pitying the poor... but if compassion isn't your thing, that's okay.)

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
(cool.)

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave.. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks, and neither have you!
(ditto for me!)

I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country!
(Hey - I wasn't crazy about Oklahoma - which is where I came from. I left. I now live in New Mexico. It's better here!)

This is AMERICA ..We like it the way it is!
("WE, Kemo Sabe?" - remember that bit about "a more perfect Union"? - I'm not sure America is all it can be - I think there's room for improvement. NO, I don't want to leave - can't think of anyplace I'd like better - but that sure doesn't mean I can't see any room for improvement here at home!)

If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you. (And take Barak Obama with you.) Massachusetts started the ball rolling. Keep it going.
(Let me get this straight: because I think things could be better, I have to leave? Are you saying that anyone who counts himself a loyal American but doesn't agree with your politics ought to leave??? Am I missing something here?... In the Army - oh, yeah - I served! - did you? - anyway, in the Army there was a saying, "You salute the rank, not the man." So whoever the president is, he deserves some respect - just because he's the president. You apparently don't feel that way.)

Let's really clean house starting with the White House. The seat of our biggest problems.
(We get a chance every 4 years - it's called an election. I vote. Do you? - I note that the election doesn't always turn out the way I like, but I live with the results - that's part of being a citizen.)

I want to know which church is it, exactly, where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution.
(I'm not sure what Jesse Jackson has to do with anything. Has he been in the news recently? Did I miss it?)

Can I get an AMEN on that one?

- [animated gif of "USA" goes here] -

I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
(yep, me too. BUT: I don't think they have the right to pull you over JUST BECAUSE of your color. "Suspected of being Black [or White, or Brown, or Red, or Green]" ISN'T breaking the law!)

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my driver's license.
(Neither do I - makes it so's I can cash a check & use my VISA.)

I think it's good.... And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money.
(I'm losing you here. Why is this 'good' and why are you 'proud'? - Do you take pride in offending the atheists, agnostics, Hindus, and Buddhists among your fellow-citizens? Me - I don't believe in God and sort of don't like my money telling me I trust in Him!)

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
(yep - I'm with you here, too... BUT: how would YOU distinguish between folks who understand the ballot & folks who don't? Just asking.)

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.......Get a Job and do your part!
(I'm not crazy about 'em either, and we've already covered 'compassion' above)

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents..
(Well, that's a good start. ... and schools & teachers, and day-care, and relatives, and babysitters... and I'd think you'd prefer Sunday School...)

I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
(not sure your point here. yes, 'illegal' is illegal. tell me again what the lawyers have to do with it?)

I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!
(there's another one I didn't know about? - do you mean state flags? - should we get rid of 'em??? I sort of like the New Mexico 'Zia' flag - does that make me a traitor? - again, what's your point?)

- [somewhat oddly, pic of modified American Flag here: 9 blue stars on white field, & only 9 stripes - 5 red, 4 white] -

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know...
We want our country back!
(Again, "WE, Kemo Sabe?" - You want it back? Where'd it go? Did someone take it? Do you think I HAVE IT???? If I do - and I somehow missed that part - I'll gladly share. Or can't we share it? Is it either YOURS or MINE? - we both can't love AMERICA?)

- [photo of American Flag here] -

WE NEED GOD BACK
IN OUR COUNTRY!!
(Tell me again when God was in our country? - I missed that part in 8th-grade civics. The U.S. Constitution is our governing document. Not one mention of God anywhere. In fact, the Constitution explicitly prohibits considerations of religion from entering into government. No, I'm not talking about separation of church and state [First Amendment]. I'm talking about Article 6, Section III: "The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.")

- [picture of dove holding banner with "God Bless You"] -

WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE!
(Reading over my replies, it seems we've got quite a bit in common with one another. I agree with a lot of your points! ... Do you suppose we could figure out a way to live together? - Both of us loyal Americans, just with some different political opinions?)

Again: I'm not sure why I bothered to reply, or why I'm posting this - but both seemed like good ideas at the time.