Huckabee: Amend Constitution for God

By Tim Grieve
Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2008
Salon.com
"What we need to do," he [Huckabee] said, "is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than trying to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family."

Great idea! I'd suggest starting with Leviticus 11:2b-12.

Amendment XXVIII (proposed):

These are the beasts which ye shall eat among all the beasts that are on the earth.
Whatsoever parteth the hoof, and is clovenfooted, and cheweth the cud, among the beasts, that shall ye eat.
Nevertheless these shall ye not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the hoof: as the camel, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
And the coney, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.
Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.

These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

[note: I've chosen the King James translation, which I believe Huckabee would approve.]

I note that the prohibition against pork is ecumenical, uniting Christians, Jews, and Muslims. (Those Iowans who voted for Huckabee may object - I suspect many of 'em raise pigs for a living! This is not meant to be pejorative: my wife's uncle is an Iowa pig-farmer!)

No rabbit? Well, this might adversely impact a few rural Southerners, but otherwise it shouldn't have much of an effect.

No lobster, shrimp, crabs, clams, oysters, mussels, or scallops? (I'm not sure about calamari. Do squid have fins & scales?) This could put a crimp in coastal economies, but I'm sure that the people will be better off following G-d's word to the letter, and Huck's FairTax plan ought to be sufficient to create tons of new & better jobs for 'em!

Of course, reduced harvesting of lobsters, shrimp, etc., could be viewed as an environmentally-friendly position!

[Note: several years ago at a Jerusalem restaurant I noticed "kosher shrimp" on the menu. What, I inquired, is "kosher shrimp"? The answer? Processed fish, shaped like shrimp.]

While we're at it, how 'bout Exodus 20:8-11.
Amendment XXIX (proposed):

Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:
But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:
For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

[Hey, if we don't make the Decalogue part of the Constitution, are we really acknowledging G-d's Word?]

To respect the three monotheistic religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam), this would seem to imply the imposition of a 4-day work-week... which I wouldn't mind!

Judaism: "Sabbath" = Saturday
Christianity: "Sabbath" = Sunday
Islam: "Sabbath" = Friday

Works for me!