A path forward

McChrystal, Karzai Reach Accord
S.F. Nooffub
1 April 2010
(STMNews) General Stanley McChrystal, commander of Allied forces in Afghanistan, and Afghan President Hamid Karzai, today announced an "agreement in principle" for a path forward in the eight-year war against the Taliban.

General McChrystal spoke first. "From today, we - U.S. and Allied forces - are promoting opium production in Afghanistan. Opium is the region's only cash crop, and its only export. To promote a stable Afghanistan, we will provide every resource to encourage and support the cultivation, harvesting, and export of opium."

In return for this largesse, President Karzai pledged that, "My government shall be henceforward completely transparent and legitimate. Today I dismissed all my relatives and friends from official positions. The Afghan government assumes full responsibility for governance, not just of Kabul, but of the provinces. With the taxes on opium we will provide security, public education, and infrastructure to ensure that the Afghan state is strong against atavistic Islamists."

Who'd a-thunk?